Shambal was well known for his obsession with religion not only in his own land but in empires abroad both fallen and in the throes of power. He was brought up by a despotic mother stewing eternally (well, eternally until her demise) in catholic ideology. To finally flee his childhood oppression and its monkey clawing like his later cocaine demon at the back of his neck for decades and then for centures, he decided to reform the old ways and scribed the following:
The Ten Goat Commandments
- Thou shalt not have other goats before me
- Thou shalt carve my visage into every stone and tree
- Thou shalt smite human females in my sacred name
- Remember the Copulation Day and penetrate me with thy penis
- Honour my goat ancestors and goatlings by penetrating them
- Thou shalt kill only the females of thy own kind
- Thou shalt save the juices from our copulation for thy otherwise pitiful cocktail parties
- Thou shalt steal ovaries from thy human females, implant them within me so that I may gestate and birth a hybrid goat-being
- Thou shalt expose my reeking genitals to thy neighbours
- Thou shalt teach their own progeny to worship and penetrate my kind
