During the last five days, my life changed drastically. One expected and a number of unexpected things turned my mental state inside out. Or rather, chopped my mental state up and reassembled it in a manner that cannot be derearranged. My mother died. This was the expected event. She even predicted it herself when she sat in her chair in the weeks before I left and yelled _I just want to die!_ over and over. It was not a pleasant situation, as many might imagine. I have no intention of going back until a m...
Wheels are moving beneath me once again. How long has it been since I wrote that or a similar line? Years, for sure, but the last time must have been in Spain when I was last alone on a train. To Madrid? That would have been 2016, then, and the same day that I was arrested for pissing off a policeman, which is another reason that Spain is inferior to Czechia. Czechia! What a name! But I must have been alone on a train since then, no? No memory manifests in this quivering, sleep deprived brain. So, wheels a...
> The bench before the Trinity tree is occupied. It is occupied by me. My shadow doesn't reach it. Perhaps my shadow is an illusion cast by the illusory sun. The Trinity tree is the only living thing left on the moon. I don't consider myself in the set of living things since I am simply an extension. I wrote that long ago, as the _trinity tree_ no longer exists. Or, rather, it exists in a different form, that of stump. My associative mind reminds me of when I was a child, or during my imagination of being ...
Today I had lunch with Bender-boy and Anne, his wife. We ate at an establishment in Andrews that exhibits properties of an excellent tex-mex restaurant, though it could be a brothel in Kazakhstan for all I know. My general perception of the world around me is coloured my delusions of being in another place - ANY OTHER PLACE. Though, interestingly enough, Bender-boy and I emanated from this area of the world. Perhaps we even defined it. I can't say that it defined us, as there is an alien psychology in any ...
As the brussels' sprouts bake, I play with the "cat". Though before I went to the lengths it takes to actually play with the "cat", the "cat" joined me in the so-called office. Why is it called the _office_ and why was I in there? The room is dubbed the _office_ because that is where my grandmother, hereafter known as _Katie_, did all the paperwork pertaining to the so-called _farm_ and other parcels of land that were in her "care". To this day, in the _office_, there are reams of paperwork stashed in grey,...
Approximately a year ago, I was wandering the sometimes broad and much too sunlit and at other times twisty, tenebrous and narrow streets and paths of Siracusa in Sicily with Marisa. It was a city in which one could find a Jesus in practically every other alcove.  By means of almost universal contrast, I am in the exceedingly _American_ city of Orlando at the moment, albeit sitting on Jeremy's sofa and thus not exposed to the elements in the drea...
There were three main trails we took when we were _paseando_ just outside of Fresneda. ## Trail One: La Cascada We took this trail the most often. In fact, Michal and Mirka accompanied us to the waterfall at one point. Michal took a dip in the frigid pool into which the water cascaded.  Michal is fond of "taking a dip". A portion of his mind feels he is doing a sort of _cold therapy_. A portion of my mind feels he is just attracte...
Music plays a big part in my recollection of _scenes_ from my past. Though I can divorce myself from the phenomenon when concentrating on a piece or song, I can easily _swap out the chip_ (as they say, and I am paraphrasing, in España) and have myriad musics hurl me back into certain swaths of time. This assists me in recalling the whole event surrounding the listening "session". The remembrance extends to fuzzy frontiers that are quite likely different for each "song". The strength of impression varies. A...
> This society hasn't changed one bit. People who don't fit into the village are expelled: men who don't hunt, women who don't give birth to children. For all we talk about modern society and individualism, anyone who doesn't try to fit in can expect to be meddled with, coerced, and ultimately banished from the village. This topic has been the subject of conversation throughout my life with multiple posses of friends. Bender and I went over time and again the idea of his that there are two types. Yes, I ...
Today is day **ZERO**! Amazing! I can only gawk at the implications! And very appropriate is that day **ZERO** lands precisely on Lee's birthday. My subconscious also acknowledged this small nugget of "truth". I dreamed last night of Lee. We met in a commodious transit station full of diaphanous haze. Yes, my dreams often feature ostensibly open spaces with walls or barriers or even membranes in the receding distance instead of pressing against one's senses. This may be a reflection of my claustrophobia. ...
The problem with day **ONE** is that there is still 48 hours to go, vole. Well, counting is for the _weak_, in any case, so I shall take it in stride. I just created a rather pedestrian improvisation using the Syntrx II. My original intention was to explore the so-called _Holloway Melody_ that I plan to use in heavy repetition and with moderate modification ongoing throughout the yet to be named 40+ minute piece that the semi-primate that calls himself "Christian Newman" will have to do some singing over. ...
