During the last five days, my life changed drastically. One expected and a number of unexpected things turned my mental state inside out. Or rather, chopped my mental state up and reassembled it in a manner that cannot be derearranged.
My mother died. This was the expected event. She even predicted it herself when she sat in her chair in the weeks before I left and yelled I just want to die! over and over. It was not a pleasant situation, as many might imagine. I have no intention of going back until a much later date for a number of reasons, the foremost being that after living in a hellish situation for eight months, I have no intention of returning to the same so soon after getting away. Secondly, there is the cat. I’m assuming most of the paperwork can be done from here - my part anyway.
Thinking about it, the foremost reason is not the one I stated. The other day I spent twenty-one hours with someone who will potentially become a very important part of my life and for this reason I’m simply not vanishing back to the states. Connections, for lack of a better word at the moment, like this do not come along often in life. No sleep was involved during that twenty-one hours. I still feel the effects. We related to each other on levels that I have not felt for a very long time. Of course, it wouldn’t be life if the situation wasn’t somewhat complicated. More explanation will surely come along in this puttering blog-thing eventually. Stay “tuned”.
