Flavigula

If I ever complete any novel-length piece of work, I am going to either title it ‘The Ballad of an American Dreamer’ (yeah, stolen, but I doubt the originator of the title will care) or ‘Shithouse Literature’.

I am thankfully alone in the office at the moment. Approximately 30 more minutes of non-itchy bliss. I hate that itchy kind of bliss. It never fails to irritate. Then there is the Christie kind of Bliss, but I think she is in Illinois.

The Czech d00d working here poked his head in and rattled off a few phrases about RAM or somesuch. He reminds me so much of the brainless Jiri from 12Snap that I feel often the urge to violently vomit the contents of my digestive system onto his primness.

Yes, 30 fleeting minutes until my meeting. We will discuss inchoate ideas and from them devise half-baked plans. Same shit, different gathering of the intelligentia where I work. Damn. I have been here less than a week and I am already one jaded motherfucker. I’d rather be a jade motherfucker, actually.

Jsem velmi sileny z idioty.

yeah, this is more fun than working.

• If there are 3 wells (love, beauty, and creativity) and you can drink from one of them, which would you choose?

that’s like asking whether you’d drink coffee, vodka or water if you were dehydrated.

• Do you wish on stars?

no.

• Would you kill someone?

yes.

• Who are you jealous of?

no one.

• Who would you marry?

no one.

• Do you think that the people on the gap commercials are cool?

i have never seen a gap commercial.

• If you were another person, would you be friends with you?

yes.

• Are you a daredevil?

yes.

• How big was the biggest mango you ever had?

one cubic light year.

• Have you ever told a secret that you swore you wouldn’t repeat?

yes.

• Do you pray?

no.

• Have you ever met anyone famous?

yes.

• Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?

maybe a mirage-pot-of-gold.

• How do you vent anger?

i put nicotine patches on sleeping people.

• Are you trendy?

absolutely.

• Are you passive or aggressive?

neither.

• Who is your second family?

might well ask who my FIRST is.

• Do you trust others easily?

no.

• What was your favorite toy as a child?

a plastic duck named ‘lucky’.

• What class in school do you think is totally useless?

anything relating to computers.

• Do you think your life so far has been good?

yawp.

• Which was your best Halloween costume?

the one i wore on halloween 1990.

• Have you ever been on radio or television?

yes, both.

• Do you keep a diary.

yes, rather consistently.

• Have you ever intentionally hurt another person?

yes.

• Have you ever been in a mosh pit?

no.

• Do you feel understood most of the time?

yes.

• Would you rather have a sore throat or an upset stomach?

i don’t have a stomach. i had it removed as a child. so i will chose the former.

• What is the new saying that you’ve been using a lot?

put this in your urethra and smoke it.

• What is your all time favorite song?

mekanik destruktiw kommandoh by magma.

• What was the best Christmas present you received?

a gallon of morphine.

• Could you be a vegetarian?

yes.

• What word do you use when you think something is good?

turnip.

• What band has the funniest name?

the motor totemists’ guild.

• Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?

yes.

• Who is your favorite talented white rapper?

i know no white rappers.

• Have you ever given money to a bum?

often.

• What are you worried about right now?

if they will find the body.

• Do you ever wear overalls?

only on thursdays.

• Do you hate anyone?

no.

• Do you regret anything?

of course. what are you, stupid?

• Who do you love?

satan.

• What are you going to do next?

finish the isapi dll i am writing.

• What is your favorite quote?

“Being sentient sucks.” -splunty.

• Name 2 people you want to thank for their friendship?

my two deceased pet rats.

• Have you ever considered a religious vocation?

yes.

• What’s your biggest dream/wish?

freedom.

• What is the one modern thing you could never live without?

electricity.

• Have you ever done anything illegal?

yes.

• Have you ever thought with another’s head?

yes.

• Who do you like better, N’Sync or the Backstreet Boys?

i have never heard either.

• What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guys/girls standing on the sidewalk?

ignore them.

• What do you regret doing or not doing in your life the most?

staying in texas so long.

• What things are you afraid of most?

stagnation.

After sitting in front of a terminal for most of the day, my brain is in a deflated state. Difficulty concentrating. Plague. Coffee or cigarettes may be the solution.

Last night, I created a spectacular pureed vegetable soup (potatoes, parsnips, carrots, leek, etc) which still awaits me this evening. Well, if the woman has not consumed it all.

The night before was Panang Curry with eggplant, red bell pepper and carrots over rice. Also damn tasty.

If tonight the soup is not enough, I shall whip up some gnocchi in a cream sauce. I could be happy just preparing food for the most of my future lifetime.

As long as I had good music to listen to in the process.

Blurmp.