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You have a glop of id running down your cheek
4 Mar, 2016 09:51
ego, psychology, stagnation
Just earlier, I sent a message to Christián telling him that he is a ego-stroking megalomaniac. I enjoy poking at him about his self-absorbed attitude often. The reason for my abuse is not so much that he really is a ego-stroking megalomaniac but that he is sensitive about it. Jayson told me many times that my greatest talent was making those around me introspect. I’ve always had problems when people around me did not notice their own actions and especially ...
I ejected the soul from her body and sent it tumbling to heaven
2 Mar, 2016 17:28
nostalgia, music
The new King Crimson album is blaring in my ears through my vastly underrated Bose headphones. Why are they underrated? I was mocked with gentle smirks in that windowed office in Boston when I attained them. What was his name? Ah… Jeff. Wasn’t that it? I believe so. He asked were they the ones about which I had raved, though not with a phrase so eloquent. I affirmed and asked would he like to try them. The augmented smirk brushed ...
Oolong warms my trembling tail feathers flapping in the hurricane
27 Feb, 2016 12:04
shambal, despotism, nature, death
There were times when Shambal needed a swift kick in his then honed and muscular asscheeks. As they are now, flaccid and spreading to cover the surface area of the sole room in his hovel, to kick them would require tremendous effort. One must always remember that tremendous efforts are not worth their weight in bitcoins during the winds of spring. Spring gales had tormented Shambal’s zone for centuries. Unbeknownst to outsiders, he had devised a plan to stop them ...
Constipation skips a generation
26 Feb, 2016 21:46
change, nostalgia, stagnation
The bed comforts my sore buttocks. I have been tortured once again by having to rise from my solace and go into the world. The day was balmy and quiet in the interior, but outside, sleeting. In my youth, the sleet never bothered me. It was another sensation for my skin to relish. Now that and other sensations are far in the past. In fact, the concept of feeling now is only going through the motions. I can pretend an ...
All my friends, one by one, rub on the vanishing oil
23 Feb, 2016 21:40
literature, work, creativity
He was developing the neuroses of the rich, the non-workers — or would start to, if he wasn’t careful. The quote is from a novel I finished late last night: The Black Corridor by Michael Moorcock. Yes, it has the same title as the Hawkwind song. I first picked up the book in 1993 (or 2?) at either a book fair or a used bookstore in College Station. Some sort of convention actually occurred featuring Michael Moorcock. I reach back ...
Guarda tus cojones dentro de esta caja hermetica en la alma
22 Feb, 2016 10:57
nostalgia, music, age
I just whipped out A Passion Play by The Tull after finding that its flacs I uploaded to Gulo yestrday evening do not work (on Gulo). Vittata plays them nicely. I noted, as I surely have oodles of times, that the album begins with heartbeats echoing The Dark Side of the Moon. Gonwards begins in this manner, as well. If one thinks it over a bit, normally, an album about the journey through a life should begin thus. Sitting here ...
When you're a boy, you are forced to perpetually relive the prime of your life
19 Feb, 2016 22:45
age, death, rebirth, shambal
Sitting once again at the head of the table, one of the ghosts (it is Shambal) is pushing his women one by one onto the stack - and as his life slows and declines to death, he’ll pop them off one by one, finally getting to Karla, then to Ashley. I wrote that quote whilst sitting on a bench in the fantastic park in Seminole. I had a ritual during which I stopped at one (or sometimes at two!) benches ...
All introverts shall be consumed by fire
16 Feb, 2016 22:39
illness, psychology, ideology, progress, change, asperger
Christián loves to point out the fact that I have asperger’s disorder. I am not particularly convinced at the accuracy of his claims, however, as he is of a certain class of people who convince themselves they are correct about certain issues and are never to budge from their position evermore despite any evidence to the contrary. I would go as far as say this class of people is the status-quo. It is much easier to fall back on long ...
Ketamine-cicles
15 Feb, 2016 23:01
shambal, progress, emptiness
The bridge would collapse even before he got half-way, Shambal thought. He’d been thinking the same for years. Realistically, he’d been crossing said bridge for years. On the way to the center, the point at which he figured the collapse would occur, he’d been collecting. His mother had always told him to goal in life is to collect. To accumulate. His feelings now were not just presentiments. He could actually see the absolute center. The apex was obvious because his ...
When you and I are young again
13 Feb, 2016 12:36
association, dreams, writing, memory, coupling
At times, phrases from songs have an astounding impact on me. For example, the subject of this entry is a line from a song from the Strawbs’s album Dragonfly. I am hearing this album for the first time in my existence. It is folky and predictable, but strangely nostalgic. Possibly, it recalls other Strawbs albums of which I used to listen often during the primeval years (1996 - 1999). My mind shifts suddenly to Christopher Bender. We have not chatted ...
An opera singer walks into a bar with a flute jammed into one nostril and an accordion into the other
9 Feb, 2016 10:59
salvation, taoism, writing, shambal
Keep your mouth closed and embrace the simple life. You will live carefree until the end of your days. If you try to talk your way into a better life, there will be no end to your troubles. For a great deal of my life, I have been a talker. I find that as the ages pass, silence is more and more my friend. I remember once what my friend Ellen once said in the common room of the house ...