“Do you like sex?
“It’s ok”
“Can I come in?”
“No, you cannot.”
“What is wrong with you?”
“Nothing. I am just smoking a cigarette.”
“You must be a fag.”
“If you think so.”
“Your kind is everywhere.”
“Possibly.”
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”

Conversation with a woman outside:

She drives up in a car. I am smoking a cigarette.
“Did you need something?”
“Like what, for example?”
“You were staring at me.”
“No, I am smoking a cigarette.”
“Well, did you need something?”
“Who are you? Do you work here?”
“No.”

Why was she so uptight?

I know some of my friends better than they know themselves. I am thinking of Christian in particular, though I am sure the statement applies in general. They, too, know me better than I know myself in ways. It is the advantage of an outside point of view.

We should rejoice in the opinions of others.

After the movie came the silence
After the silence came the grief.

An irritant is quivering about within the sheepblog code. When a new entry is created, the time of the entry is always one minute past the hour. I searched for the error earlier, but came up with nothing. The culprit code must be in here somewhere:

(Elegant elk?)
post '/new' do
  if !get_user
    redirect_with_message '/login', 'You are not loged in, vole.'
  else
    m = %r{^\s*(\d\d\d\d)[-/]?(\d{1,2})[-/]?(\d{1,2})\s*$}.match(params[:arbitrary_date])
    timestamp = if m
                  mysql_time Time.local(m[1], m[2], m[3], 23, 59, 59) rescue my sql_time(Time.now)
                end
    entry = Entry.new(:subject => params[:subject],
                      :entry => params[:entry])
    if entry.save
      if timestamp
        entry.created_at = timestamp
      end
      params['topics'].split(',').each do |t|
        topic = Topic.first(:topic => t) || Topic.create(:topic => t)
        entry.topics << topic
      end
      entry.save
      redirect turnip_link_from_time(entry)
    else
      flash[:notice] = 'Problems:'
      entry.errors.each { |error|
        flash[:notice] += "<br />" + error[0]
      }
      redirect '/new'
    end
  end
end

I want everyone reading this to send me an email with your thoughts on what could be causing this caustic anomaly.

(email)

As I was attempting to fall asleep at approximately 1.00 in the morning, I was musing over the last piece of the album. It’s name is Reductive, since there is a many to one mapping from each of the other pieces to it. I have also decided to title the other Untitled piece Injective since all of its themes can be mapped exactly to one theme of the following piece, Fold. Well, actually, we’ll see about that name later.

So back to the purpose of this entry.

I was musing also during the morning hours about Reductive. It will be in 7/4. A single bassoon note will begin. All alone, it will paint the initial two measures. The bass will begin on the third beat of the third measure, playing a repeating pattern which lasts three beats. Well, much like this:

(Elegant elk?)
Layout    | * * * * * * * | * * * * * * * | * * * * * * * |
Bass      |     x x x     |     x x x     |     x x x     |
Rhodes    |         x x   |         x x   |         x x   |
Bassoon   | - - - - x - - | x - - x - - - | - x - - - x - |

The xs are the beats on which the instruments play. The *-*s in the case of the Bassoon are a continuous note, the xs being the places where the note changes. I’ll possibly keep this same rhythm, in the spirit of minimalism, throughout, though variegating the harmony. With regard to the name Reduction, one theme from each previous piece will be included, scaled down and most likely transformed.

I must name the album. I must do it now. So what shall the album’s name be? Hm. Well, what is the theme, exactly? We have which titles so far?

• Intersection
• Filter
• Cycle
• She Ain’t My Girl
• Union
• Untitled
• Fold
• Untitled

The obvious conclusion is to title the album something regarding sets. So, what does set theory come up with when typed into the mighty Google, Wikipedia and Thinkexist. The results are, respectively:

Hm. Well, actually, that did not work very well, so let’s attempt putting all of the song titles (including the untitled ones, just for amusement’s sake) simultaneously into google and see what happens.

Again, nothing.

My cupped palms have come up empty.

As I said in one dream I had as a child:

I have happily created a portion of a piece of art and can bask in this realization until it comes to pass that the itch must again be scratched and a following piece of art be produced.

I’ve successfully stuck with the minimalistic character of the piece that was evident in its inception as AcyBob and has carried itself through the parts and transformations therein. Part V contains a bastardization of the bastardization in Part III of the melody in Part I played on the bass and ‘bassoon’. The only other non-percussive instrument is the Mellotron. I am getting closer to the end of this. Each part is easier to write. Each contains more and more material which has already been written. Good for them.

And there is space!

It’s not space rock, but there is space. The piece definately needs space after parts two and three (there are more contrasts and lulls in part four, giving the initial exhalation after the relentless first three parts).

The next task is Part VI. I already have a sketch of it in my mind. It begins with the bassoon playing /e f ees/ e, /ees f e/ ees, /e f ees/ e, and /f ees e/ f. These are each repeated six times (making three measures of 4/4 each and following the triplety Part II ‘template’). On the final note of each small sequence, IE, on beats two and four, the rhodes will play F major7 and Bes major7 alternately. These chords will be accompanied by a bass note which is not necessarily related to the chord.

So, a film and then to sleep. Tomorrow (later today, yah) finds me on a short journey to Odessa and the dermatologist.

The backing of the part will be purely mellotron playing the chords two notes at a time, but not constantly! No no no! That would not be appropriate.

The spice of this part will be space

And since I have been listening to quite a bit of Space Music the last few days, I’ll make sure there are plenty of sweeps and gurgles accompanying the composed music. Layered on top, yes sir ee.

The chord progression, as I wrote, will be the same as in Part III, but it will be only run through once and at half the tempo. So, the lengths of the two parts will match exactly. Isn’t this an amusingly sterile way to create a piece of music? I think yeah, but it amuses me greatly, so I shall continue. So, on to the Mellotron part. I shall return shortly.

The collusion of contrasting ideas concerning the fifth part of Cycle are now in concert. The result, in my mind, anyhow, will debauch the easy and hypnotic feeling established during the final ostinato of part four.

So the first concern is the transition.

I know that before I wrote that I would not write proper transitions but instead let the music suddenly stumble from one frame to another with no harmonic warning or set up. I feel this must be an exception to this so-called rule I created for myself.

The ostinato that ends part four, as it is now, is rooted in Dm (with the additional bes c g that could be seen as a C7 atop the Dm). It will change this rooting thrice. Once to Ees major, then back to Dm, then to E major. The latter will lead easily into part five, which will retain the chord progression of part three, in order.

After a walk, I shall continue

Expert staff members working in the trenches aren’t always recognized as experts or paid accordingly!

This brings me back to 12 Snap. I may not have been an expert by the definition that many people have, but I was towering over most at that company in knowledge of the workings of the system. This is very much true of the so called managers, who, though some came from a technical background, were dollops of oozing slime beneath the iron of mine and Jenicek’s prowess. I recall one event where the bald-headed, short yet very overbearing manager named John Something would stand over Jenicek and take Jenicek into private conferences to criticize and demean. John did have a Java background, but was at a dead end creatively.

Not all expert staff want to end up as managers!

Now this point is beyond the comprehension of most existing management and for sure from any owners or marketing individuals. You see, anyone who is not climbing the ladder to financial success as quickly as possible is somehow not thinking correctly and certainly not directing his or her life in an intelligent manner. Why is it so difficult to accept that some do not want this, but are happy to flourish and grow in a role which will let them be much more creative and intellectually active (ie, a developer)?

Dreariness washes over me. Tomorrow morning, I shall drive to Austin if the powers that be let me rent a car with my flimsy little debit card. The limitations placed on people who are not wrapped in a shawl of financial success is the most prominent in the United States. In Europe, I had no problem doing and getting what I wanted without bizarre glances and constant suspicion. What causes this pall of paranoia which affects most humans in this country? How can I escape it?

The answer is simple and no matter how many times my parents try to emotionally blackmail me into staying with them, I must leave again. I was happier outside of the United States. Why should I stifle my happiness by staying? Why do people who insist they love you tie you to a rock at the edge of a lapping ocean at low tide? Why do they do this out of caring? It makes no sense. The adage if you love someone, let them free is certainly true, but so idealistic that I do not even break into the most menial smirk.

So, if the powers that be do rent me a vehicle, I shall be able to begin my sojourn away from this place one more time. Initially, it will be Austin. I’ll happily roost there for the time being. My freedom will be claimed because I shall be living with strangers affording me a clean slate and giving me a new start in a familiar place. The coincidence that one of the rooms I may choose is very near the house in which Acy and I once lived makes me smile. If I move in there, I’ll be very happy to walk those streets once more, possibly in a drunken stupor (though the reader must know at this time that I was never in any state but sober during the time I lived in that area of Austin). Maybe I’ll even try to find that old laundromat for nostalgic reasons. I wonder what I did there whilst washing clothing. Did I read? Did I sulk? All I recall is that the process of hauling the clothing there, cleansing them, and hauling them back was a chore which was not looked forward to. I am sure I recollect times when all that was left to wear was soiled and smelly from the stifling summer heat. It was the summer of 1990. There was no hot water. I took a cold shower each morning. My body became used to it. I did not mind. I never asked Acy if he did or didn’t. He never said anything to the best of my knowledge. Then there was Elke the pit bull. Yikes!

Listening to X In Search Of Space by Hawkwind reminds me of the Xmas I came back to Fort Stockton after first going to University in Austin in 1989. I had the lp and I played it on the rickety turntable in my room at that house which still haunts my dreams so many years later. (Oh - how childhood is the major force behind so many of the images in my dreams!) And, on the way to MAF on the aeroplane, I had Paradox from Hall of the Mountain Grill (and most likely the remainder of the album, as well) playing in my ears. This band was a big part of the soundtrack of 1989 - 1993, and contributed much to later years, as well. There is an entry in the possibly lost Elaborations journal I used to write on picard.tamu.edu which details an all-nighter at Microsoft in Redmond during which I was attempting to finish some sort of templating system in Java. I can still hear Church Of Hawkwind. I’m looking forward to getting to that album during this particular binge.

Tra la la.